Blog Fog

Facing the Giants, Part 2/La Vida Loca

2006-10-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, if there is anyone out there still checking my blog, you may have guessed I've completely forgotten WHAT I was going to write for "Part 2." Apparently there is no "Part 2." (No, I'm not gonna talk about how the Cowboys did or did not face the Giants Monday night!!) I really am not completely losing my mind (I don't think!). I'm just very scattered right now. I'm learning a new job (which, by the way, is quite tedious) and I'm trying to stay up with homeschooling my kids (which, by the way, is what I want to pour ALL of my energies into) and let's not even talk about the laundry, dusting (yes, I live in West Texas and dusting MUST be done from time to time), and cooking a nutritional meal at least once in a while, friends/church, extended family stuff, & let's not forget a football game/world series game thrown in from time to time, etc. AND I need to lose 20 lbs. or so....what's new???

All in all, I'm just livin' la vida loca! Life is good. If it wasn't crazy, it would be awfully boring - right?

I guess maybe this IS "Facing the Giants, Part 2" after all. I continue to face the Giant of "getting it all together." But I am pretty sure I have a sling and a rock and the "gifts" to use them. It won't be easy, but God likes to use the "weakest" things to show His strength and I am happy to be his show piece!!

Facing the Giants, Part 1

2006-10-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

We went to see this wonderful movie last Sunday. Our neighbors had gone on Friday night and came home just "beaming" about it. I've never seen them like they were that night. Anyway, we got our friends together (there were 25 of us) and went Sunday night. It was a VERY encouraging movie and I've been thinking about it all week. The movie is called "Facing the Giants," but I thought it an appropriate title for my entire blog today.

I feel like we've been facing our own "giants" lately. Trying to keep up with homeschooling, parenting, and the past couple of weeks we've been holding down 5 different jobs!!! Yikes! That's way TOO BIG for us puny little weaklings! Fortunatley, we serve a BIGGER GOD! He has seen us through all of this and will continue to work on our behalf. I am thankful for that! He's been working mightily while I was too weak to even blog over these past couple of months.

Last night was my last night at the grocery store. I never did really figure out what food I would be if I could be a food, but I did learn a lot and loved interacting with the people....both the customers and the other employees. I did, however, hate being away from my family in the evenings. I had been praying that God would show me how to get through this time and that it would be temporary and that He would work out something else I could do to help out with the finances and still be home more. That prayer had barely left my lips when I got a call from someone I hadn't talked to in over a year with a job opportunity!!

They tracked me down and found me and I was hired within a couple of days. I will be working for an marketing company for attorneys and will be working with the internet part of that. I am so excited because that means I get to work from home...more money, more hours...flexible enough that I can do homeschool. It seems too perfect. But that is my bigger-than-giant-God for you!!

I accidently posted this before I was finished, but I don't have time to finish it now, so I will just write a PART 2 post later.

Back to Work and School

2006-08-26T11:31:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update everyone real quick....I am going to try to write something more interesting in the next day or so. Things have been a little crazy....I DID get the job at the supermarket and our family is trying to adjust to all the changes that brings. I was glad we had a couple of weeks to get used to that before school started again. Yes, I am still determined to homeschool the kids....so I homeschool during the day and mid-afternoon I usually head out to work until sometimes 11:30 pm. On Fridays Eric will school the kids while I work a morning shift and then he will go off to work (he has Fridays during the day off) in the afternoon. I know this sounds crazy, and it probably is, but we are going to try to make this work.

We started back to school this week and so far, so good. I LOVE the curriculum I decided to use this year. We have a lot of work to do to get back into the "school" routine. I've been busily working on planning for the year.

Anyway, that's why my blogging came to an abrupt halt a few weeks ago. A combination of learning a new job and working 20 hours a week and planning for the school year has zapped my time and I've hardly had time to look at the computer at all....except to do some research for school! I hope to be making more time for writing as we settle in here a little....don't give up on me! I love writing this blog and don't want to give it up.

The kids and I are working on a diorama of the Nile River this afternoon, so I need to run for now.

What Kind of Food Are You?

2006-07-28T17:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, I did it. Here I am a college graduate (don't all supermarkets have great need of a person with a BA in Biblical Studies?), a middle-age mom who has stayed home with her kids for 11 years ...and I'm as nervous as a skinny teenager looking for her first job!

After asking my hubby SEVERAL times if I looked OK, I drove to the store and asked for my friend, the Store Director. Now, you have to understand that this is really a friend. He's not just a casual acquaintance. This is the husband of one of my dearest friends. We've only known each other for about 9 months, but we've all hit it off. We have worshipped, prayed, studied the Bible, played games, gone to movies, played volleyball, and eaten together. Our kids are best buds. My husband is going to Promise Keepers with him in a couple of weeks. I have great respect for this man. What I'm saying is, this shouldn't have been a hard thing. I had pre-warned him I was going to do this and he was great. WHY AM I SWEATING AND FEELING SO AWKWARD?

He smiles as he comes out of the office and says he's sorry to tell me he has no applications left. He takes me into his office while he looks to see if he can find one more and we engage in small talk....how tired our kids were after camp, the church softball game last night, the possibility of rain this afternoon. AARRGGHHH! I'm acutely aware my voice sounds strange....even to my own ears. CALM DOWN GIRL! It's not like I'm trying out for cheerleader or something ... (you see how I've gone completely back to that time of my life?)

He tells me he had a big stack but the college kids (just what I was worried about) have been coming in by the droves over the past couple of days and he just doesn't have another one. He tells me to go to another location a couple of miles away and get one there and fill it out and bring it to him on Sunday. I breathe a little bit easier when he says he really wants to get mine in ASAP. As I leave his office, I suddenly can't remember how to get out of the swinging door and then as I'm finishing the conversation I turn around to leave only to almost slam into the pole guiding customers to the customer service desk! Right in front of him! How confident and together I must look. (Uh, "Have any openings for a clumsy, middle-aged pole dancer?")

I leave the store relieved in one way and disappointed in another. Relieved to stop acting so completely insecure and disappointed not to have it all over with. I walk through the rain to my big ol' honkin' mini van-that-is-making-an-awful-noise-and-is-almost-on-empty and immediately drive to the other store lecturing myself on my insane behavior (ironic, huh?) the entire way. When I ask there, they have applications out in a holder by the front door....no shortage at this store. Leave it to me to pick the most popular location!

I bring it home and begin to fill it out. Am I bi-lingual? Do you think it will help that I've taken 2 years of Greek? I guess there probably isn't much call for Greek in Lubbock, TX! As a matter of fact, I would guess there are people who would argue we don't even speak English here. Guess I'll check a big fat NO on that one.

How about job history? Mine is really HISTORY. I mean, George Bush WAS President the last time I filled out a job application for a "real" job, but the W was conspicuously absent. I did the best I could to make myself sound good. I worked my way through the application and then realized that job applications have changed a little in the past few years. I don't recall ever answering the question "If you were a food, what kind would you be and why?" before. Now this has me wondering....does this mean I will have to dress up as this food while I work? What kind of food gets preferential treatment? Does chicken have a leg up on broccoli? Will they make me the expert dairy checker if I say "Milk?" What is the most dependable, hard working food? Most importantly, what kind of food gets paid the most? I just don't know what the right answer to this question would be. But I settled for "hamburger" because everyone likes a hamburger and it is enhanced by side dishes but can also stand on its own. (????)

I took the application over to him this evening (I had to run to his house because his wife was cleaning out her closet and had some shirts she thought might fit me....and I took her some carpet cleaner for a stain her neice had just made with some lip gloss...) and just to show I was a person who goes above and beyond the call of duty, I gave him the extra application I had accidentally picked up. I'd hire me....wouldn't you? I was much more relaxed seeing him at his house....WEIRD. I think I'm just nervous about whether this will work out.

I guess I'll know something in the coming week. In the meantime.....If you could be food what kind would you be and why???

Family... Changes....

2006-07-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

The kids are back and they had a great time. Great sleep took place last night...after showers! I don't think a lot of showers took place while they were gone and I'm pretty sure my son wore the same shorts (not underwear - I have taught him SOMETHING!) the entire time! Oh well, less laundry for me to do!! When asked what their favorite part was my son said "the Bible Study....we learned about friendship" (although he talked about new friends he made, he couldn't remember any of their names) and my daughter said "the Worship time." Pretty cool. They still seem very thankful to be home this morning, although I think it's time to get started on school since they told me they were "bored" just before noon and asked if we could do some arts & crafts or something! Anyway, our family is all back intact and back to normal...whatever that is.

I am very nervous all the sudden because this afternoon I am going to apply for a job at the supermarket down the street. I will try to get them to let me work the evenings when hubby is NOT working so one of us will be here for the kids all the time. It stinks because we won't see each other much during the week, but maybe it won't have to last for too long.

I know it's crazy to be nervous, but I am. I even know the Store Director and have mentioned this to him and he was very positive, but still.....it's been a long time since I went to interview for a job. I hope I'm not too old to learn to do something new. I'll be surrounded by cute, young college students. Yikes! I can check myself out at Wal-Mart...does that count as experience? OK, enough putting it off. I need to go get ready and do this thing.

Life without kids

2006-07-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

I guess my life hasn't been too interesting with my kids away at camp. We've enjoyed the peace and quiet, but it's time for those kids to come home. They haven't even called me :)......They haven't even called me :-0.....They haven't even called me :(.

Hubby & I have had a nice time, but we miss them. We have been reading a Thr3e by Ted Dekker and enjoying that. Yes, we read books "together" when we get the opportunity. We really enjoy doing that - we trade off each chapter reading aloud. We've been doing this for almost 15 years now and it is something we savor doing together. It's much better than TV.

We got the opportunity to see Lady in the Water too. I know the critics don't like it (the movie doesn't like critics either!) but we really enjoyed it. I like M. Night's movies....they make you think and are definitely about faith. I appreciate a movie that makes you think and put things together and figure out what the story is trying to say. (Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've been watching kid movies for the past 11 years or so!)

Yesterday I got to spend most of the day "creating" (scrapbooking, etc.) with friends. It was a totally fun day and I actually accomplished something amidst the laughter.

It is time to go pick up the kids so I will continue my blog later.

A "Letting Go" Moment...(or Few Days)

2006-07-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

I remember when my son was born and we brought him home from the hospital. We had him in a little bassinet next to our bed for the first weeks. We lived in a little one bedroom garage apartment (we were still in school). It was actually pretty good size for a one-bedroom (approx. 800 sq. ft). We decided not to move when we found out we were having a baby. There were two nice sized walk in closets, one in the bathroom and the other one in the living room. After much measuring and brainstorming, we made the closet in the living room into a "nursery." His crib and a little dresser fit perfectly. I put up a Noah's Ark border and tried to make it cute. I know it sounds weird and we laughed a lot about it, but it worked out quite well and saved us a lot of money and trouble. We loved that apartment and were able to stay another year (until we finished school and moved out of town).

As he began to look a little cramped in the bassinet, we knew it was time to move him out of our room and into the "nursery" across the hall. The door to the closet was probably only 6 ft. from the door of our bedroom, but it was a hard move for me. I cried. I remember saying to my hubby that day that the "letting go" started early. (I'm sure he wanted to laugh at me, but he showed great restraint and was very understanding.) It struck me with great force that from the minute they cut that umbilical cord the rest of our relationship would be a series of "letting go" moments. In that moment, I saw them all stretched out before me.

This week is one of those moments for our family. We sent both of our kids off to camp yesterday. We all did surprisingly well. I didn't really cry, although it wouldn't have taken much to push me over the edge. My son didn't seem anxious at all about leaving, he hugged me quickly and jumped in the truck with his buddies staying as "cool" as possible. My daughter (who I thought would fall apart) gave us several hugs, but went about "helping" another girl who was crying and struggling with leaving her mom. I was so proud of her. Although I know she was feeling uneasy herself, she just went over and held the girls' hand and made sure they had seats together in the van. They know each other, but not well. I am willing to bet they come back as fast friends.

They are only going to be gone a few days, but it is the first time in all these years that our house is so quiet for this many days. It's just hubby & me again :). It is eerily quiet here this morning. It's nice and awful at the same time. I miss them but I am excited about what I know will be an awesome time for them.

Hubby was off work yesterday, so we (wow, just the two of us!) enjoyed our day and evening very much, but it did seem very odd. No one was complaining when we spent an hour in the book store - JUST LOOKING. We finished sentences. We didn't have to worry about getting home and relieving and PAYING a babysitter.

It's much like that day we put our son in his "closet nursery." It's another step toward their independence. It is good (even fun) for hubby & I and healthy for our relationship, and it is good (and fun) for the kids.

Now I just have to spend this morning putting my house back together after tearing it apart getting them ready to leave!! They'll be back with piles of laundry in just a few days reminding me that it this is just another SMALL "letting go" and we have many more to go.

Thursday Thirteen

2006-07-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Places I've lived (Yes, really!)

1. Hereford, TX

2. Bennington, VT

3. Garland, TX

4. Abilene, TX

5. Shafter, CA

6. Boise, ID

7. Maynard, MA

8. Owasso, OK

9. Portage, IN

10. St. Peters, MO

11. Weatherford, TX

12. Longview/Kilgore, TX

13. Lubbock, TX

Can you believe that? We call this our "American Tour." Each place holds a special place in our hearts and special friends still live in each area. Even though it's not been our plan and it hasn't been easy, I don't think I would trade for the experience of living in any of these places.
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Comments Anyone?...

2006-07-17T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am planning to post a blog later today. In the meantime I seem to be missing my sidebar on my site? Has anyone seen it today? Like everything else around here, I seem to have misplaced it. Maybe it is in one of these stacks of bills! Seriously, I don't know what's up, but I thought if I posted something, maybe it would come back...worth a try, huh?

And I also wanted to let everyone know I figured out I could change my settings so that ANYONE can post a comment on here. (Before, you had to join blogger in order to comment and I know that everyone is not ready to make that monumental commitment just to be able to say "hi" to me.) I welcome comments, even enjoy them immensely, so stop in and say "hi" ...

I'll write later. It was a busy & fun Sunday. Lots of things going on here, so I have much to write when I get a few quiet moments (?).

Just a few plugs

2006-07-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

I've had fun the last few days just checking out a lot of the sites on the blogging chicks. I'm learning more and more about how this blog thingy works...and it's fun! Go check out some of these "chicks!"

You have to visit this guy at Humble Beginnings. He is definitely NOT a blogging chick, but he is a way too funny "man of the cloth."

I have learned how to add links to my site (whoo hoo) and so look on my sidebar and visit some of my friends/ favorites (most of these are not on the blogging chicks list, but a couple are). I'm sure that list will grow.

I wrote a blog for the blogging chicks carnival this week and I hope you will go check it out on Sunday and read some of the other entries. I'm sure they will be great. The theme this week is Dreams. My submission is on my sidebar Only Trouble Is, Gee Whiz, I'm Dreaming My Life Away....

Dibs on Dad

2006-07-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

My kids are way deep into the stage of "calling dibs" on EVERTHING!! It sometimes makes me want to stick a hot poker in my eye. I mean, there are only 2 of them, after all! Dibs on everything from the seat choice in our 7 seater van (Hey, there are 5 choices....surely there are two that are equally desirable!) to dibs on the last ear of corn at supper (there's only 30 more in the frig. waiting to be cooked next time).

Last night, after supper/dinner (whatever), we took a family jaunt to the neighborhood park. The kids, after much debate on their mode of travel (bikes or skates?), decided to ride their bikes while we walked. (Hubby & I don't have bikes, but would really like to now that the kids are so proficient on their bikes...family bike rides sound like a blast.) It was pleasant out despite the fact that it had been 102 degrees during the day! It's one of the perks (and some would say there aren't many) of living here....it usually cools down in the evening and become quite pleasant (if you aren't fighting mosquitos).

About halfway on our trip back home, the kids got off their bikes and we somehow paired off (my daughter with my hubby and my son with me). I jumped on my sons' bike and thought I could enjoy the exercise. Not so, he wanted to talk. When your twelve year old son wants to talk, you don't leave him in the dust on the bike! The best exercise I got was trying not to tump over because I was going slow enough for him to keep up as he walked!! He proceeded to explain to me, with a hint of disappointment in his voice, that he had "called dibs" on dad but that I would be "okay". "It's just that sometimes I need some 'man talk' now since I'm 12 and all." I told him I understood and that if Dad and I had been aware of the "dib calling" we would surely have made sure that happened and that he could walk with Dad next time.

I don't think my kids ever "call dibs on Mom." Maybe it's because I'm. ALWAYS. THERE. The truth is, we all want to "call dibs" on Dad the minute he comes home....me too! I understand.

I called "dibs on Dad" after the kids were in bed and we watched Cinderella Man (yes, I know, we are behind). Great story, great movie...too much boxing (that HURTS me!). Wonderful "dib time!"

Thursday's Thirteen

2006-07-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

This seemed like a cool thing to do, so I'm gonna try it!

Thursday's Thirteen things I've enjoyed this week:

1. Going to see Pirates of the Caribbean with friends....who can resist Jack Sparrow? (I know he's a pirate and all, but...)
2. Watching my kids playing with their friends. (Their giggles make my heart smile.)
3. Spontaneity with friends...staying up playing games & talking & laughing til 2 a.m.
4. Helping my mom move furniture and get her new computer set up.
5. Great Bible Study, cookout & game night on Sunday night.
6. My son's twelfth birthday! Wow! (see blog on July 11) My son, in general!
7. First fresh corn on the cob of the season.....(I'm thankful we live in an area where people like to share. :)
8. Making a meal for a friend who had surgery. It's a blessing to be on the receiving end of this kind of thing, but it is a uber-blessing to be able to bless someone else!
9. Watching my kids learn how to skate with their roller-blades. My kids, in general!
10. Finding out college age people still think we are cool and worthy of hangin out with!
11. Learning how to put links on my blog site. Whada ya know...an old dog CAN learn new tricks!
12. My daughter sleeping well the last few nights after several nights of insomnia and tears. And the NAP she took one day (she hasn't taken a nap in 5 years!).
13. Pop up thunderstorms the last few evenings (after HOT days)....lots of lightening. I love to watch and smell, and feel the awesomeness of the All-Powerful God showing off His stuff!

Only Trouble Is, Gee Whiz, I'm Dreaming my life away.....

2006-07-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

dream - n. - 1. A series of pictures, thoughts or emotions occuring during sleep. 2. A daydream. 3. Something hoped for; aspiration.

I've always been a dreamer. I have a great imagination and can escape into a daydream pretty easily. It's probably one of the reasons I love to read....it's another form of dreaming. And there's nothing like a good nighttime dream and the warm feeling you have when you wake up. I love that! (We won't talk about nightmares right now.)

Through the years my dreams (the #3 kind, see above) have morphed. I can remember being in first grade and dreaming of being a third grader and learning how to write in cursive. I dreamt of the day I would learn to drive and of dating the quarterback (rolling my eyes). I dreamt of being a teacher, a wife, a mom. I dreamt my husband would be handsome (he is), and then later that he would have a good sense of humor (he does), and on and on and on. The list kept getting modified as I met and dated various guys (not that many, don't worry). As I grew, I dreamt more and more that he would be a man of God (he is certainly that). I dreamt of having babies and how wonderful it would be to have about four!! (I have 2 -- and I'm done!)

Then there were dreams of sleeping the whole night without nursing ( I can't complain, they were actually pretty good sleepers). I dreamt of the day my son would talk to me. I dreamt of the day my daughter would STOP talking to me (just for a little while!!!). I had dreams of the day all the potty training would be done. I dreamt of how it would be when they could dress themselves and tie their own shoes. I dreamt of the day they would both be in school all day and I could do something "worthwhile." (And then all day long I dreamt of when they would come home!) Now I dream of homeschooling them until the day God lets me know this season is over.

I have dreamt we would own our own dream home, now I dream that wherever we are and whatever situation we are in will "be" home....warm, loving, inviting, homey. I dream of the church without walls, without borders, without fear....but full of love and grace and urgency. OK, you get the picture. There's so much more, but I'm boring even myself.

My point is that these dreams are all good. Dreams are necessary. I believe dreams of all three varieties are gifts from God. He can work through them (the daydreams and the nightdreams). They spur us on and encourage us to be our best. They sometimes challenge us to do things we never would otherwise. They make life interesting. How boring life would be without dreams!

But right now I dream that I won't dream my life away. I want to enjoy the moment....every one of them. I want to live in the right now while still striving for the hopes and dreams of the future. I want to recognize the blessings that are right in front of my eyes that I sometimes miss because I'm so busy dreaming of something I think might be better. I want to dream "of a White Christmas" while not missing the joys of a "Brown Christmas" (hey, it's easier to drive, the kids can go out and ride their new bikes, there is no shoveling!!) and the smiles and laughter and even the tears that are right in front of me.

How 'bout you?

(The title of this post is a reference to an OLD Everly Brothers song I always liked when I was listening to my mom's old records - you remember those.....don't you? I'm pretty sure a few others have recorded it as well.)

I've Joined the Blogging Chicks!

2006-07-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

I've already found some cool sites on here.
Check the blogroll on my sidebar!

Hourglass Figure

2006-07-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

As those close to me know....it is not a cup of coffee that clears the cobwebs away from my bleary brain each morning...it is a good hot shower. If I don't get my shower it is not a pretty sight. I try to convince myself from time to time that I can just take one in the evening, or I'm just going to be painting or be outside sweating or whatever that day, so why bother now? It would save time and it makes "logical" sense. I'm like the person who is mentally ill (no comments here, please!) and thinks they can do without their meds. I seem to have amnesia on those days and forget that it is inevitable that without my shower I will be a grouchy, _itchy person and will usually have a headache that I imagine is much like a hangover headache (I haven't ever had one of those, but I've heard stories!). I turn into MonsterMom and feel powerless to change it. (A good shower would usually do the trick, even at that point, but I am usually too crazy to realize what the problem is.) My husband and kids know this about me. They encourage the morning shower! The earlier the better.....

Ok, so God has a really *cute* sense of humor! Our bathroom is arranged in such a way that when you step out of the shower to reach for the towel you can't miss the BIG mirror directly in front of you. Now that's an eye-opener! (Or maybe an eye-closer.) I try not to look for fear of ruining a perfectly good morning, but it's hard to miss. Fortunately the mirror usually starts fogging up pretty quickly after you step out. That, too, is God's provision! This morning the words "hourglass figure" ran through my mind(?) and I remembered that cute little figure I used to have. I didn't think it was cute at the time, but we girls are never satisfied with our bodies or our hair and we never realize how good we have it until it's gone!

I squinted my eyes really hard and realized that, hey, I think I can still make out an hourglass figure (just as the mirror fogged up). Yes, yes, it's still there. It's just that the "hour" would only last about 15 minutes!! Maybe that's why time flies by so much faster as you get older! ( ....like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives......)

Maybe I should use one of the other bathrooms to take my shower (see earlier blog about our "pricey" bathrooms). But that would just put me in more denial, wouldn't it?......is denial always such a bad thing?

The search for his "inter-self"

2006-07-11T12:14:00.001-07:00

Twelve years ago today I was in the middle of 9 hours of hard labor brought on by pitosin. I had been so determined not to have drugs (what was I thinking?). It was my first baby and I had fantasies - what can I say? Here was a problem I hadn't counted on: I wasn't dilating enough and baby was having a rough time. The Dr. finally came in and stated *very calmly* that baby's heartrate was dropping and the stress was becoming dangerous and would we consider a C-section? Hubby and I had been so dead set against that just a few hours ago (and had been sure to let the Dr. know how we felt) and now we couldn't agree fast enough.

It had all been pretty calm around me until that moment and then things swung into fast forward and I was in the delivery room faster than a speeding bullet. That's where they gave me the EPIDURAL (or should I say THE DRUG SENT STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN?). What an amazing relief. Anyway....that was the day my son came into this world and into our arms. He was beautiful (to us anyway).

I can't believe that was 12 years ago! He is still beautiful even though he is kind of in that awkward in-between stage right now (and he would hate that I used that word to describe him). Some days he is still such a little boy and then he remembers how much he wants to grow up and be a man. I think he's often as confused by all this as we are. The same boy who still thought it might be fun to go to Chuck E. Cheese for his birthday wants a guitar and dreams of starting a Christian Rock Band with his "homies." He's taller than I am (not such an amazing feat) and we've had quite a few talks about remembering to put on deoderant these days!! He's really exploring new interests and told us Sunday that now that he's 12, he needs to find his "inter-self." He cracks us up! :)

For a boy who didn't really talk until he was 4, he can talk my ear off these days about things I am not the least bit interested in. I try, but sometimes I feel my eyes glazing over and beginning to cross. (I know he sees it and that makes it worse!) It's boy stuff. I didn't have any brothers and when I found out I was having a boy - I questioned what I would do with him. I needn't have worried. It's been great. I love being mom to a boy (despite the fact that I don't always understand the things he's interested in). He's fun and he's simple. I'll never forget the first time he said "I love you Mommy" because I waited 5 years to hear those words. He had always told me in countless other ways, but the waiting for words was hard and painful. He's doing well now, although language (getting things from his head to his mouth or vice-versa) is sometimes difficult for him. He's learning how to compensate and I'm proud of how hard he has worked. I think it has built his character and made him a better person. They say when you have deficiencies in one area, other areas get stronger in order to compensate and I think I see that in him.

I think he IS finding his "inter-self." I hope the search doesn't take him too far off the path he is already on. He is growing into a remarkable godly young man and I am proud to be a part of his life. I pray that God continues to grow in him mightily. As my husband told me the other day - our son is a warrior. Those words are sometimes hard for moms to hear about their boys (especially as they get older - we want to coddle too much), but I know it is a good thing and an important ingredient for a man. I'm so thankful God saw fit to bless me with a boy - this boy. My now 12 year old boy/man. I'm thankful he has a wonderful man, my hubby, as an example and that their relationship is strong. How blessed am I??

Happy Birthday Bud!

All our "2 a.m. Friends"

2006-07-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

As I sit at the computer tonite (just got my kiddos tucked in bed and hubby is at work, the washer and dryer are still rumbling away and I have allowed myself to sit and write) familiar faces are flashing through my mind. Faces of friends. Old friends, new friends. Smiles, tears, laughter, "aha" moments, hugs, etc.

Today I've been thinking a lot about how blessed hubby & I have been on our journey to have been surrounded by so many wonderful friends. I am especially thinking about it today because it is happening again. Let me explain.

It happens with all couples, I'm sure. The search for friends that both of you "click" with can be tricky. Life is busy and when is there time to have people over, go out together, etc.? Add kids and that adds a whole other dimension. Because we have moved around more than your average bears (ALWAYS use a pencil when writing our address in your book), it has sometimes seemed like too big a task. It takes time, energy, putting yourself out there. At times we've felt alone and even questioned whether we were even "friendship material" anymore. Maybe we just aren't fun anymore. Maybe we are a drag. Maybe we are too high risk (after all, we might move off). And on, and on, and on. Fortunately, God has been faithful to assure us through wonderful, warm friendships all over this country. Each friendship is unique and occupies a special place in our hearts. No two are alike. Even that amazes me.

But back to today....the past couple of months have been special for our family. We have made some NEW wonderful friends and, frankly, it comes with mixed feelings. Last night we had a spontaneous game night with a family we adore. They left here reluctantly(on all our parts...even the kids) at 2 a.m. Every week lately we are having these great spontanteous times and laughing til we cry and sharing deep thoughts about God and about our lives, sharing history, sharing hopes for the future. We love these people and are having so much fun together....we've needed this for a while....but we are aware that God is likely to call us somewhere else in the near future. We want to go where He calls us. We want to be obedient and faithful to the gifts He's given us. Why does it have to come with such sacrifice??

This week I have also read blogs of old friends (I love catching up on their daily lives that way), I have talked to and prayed with old friends on the phone, and I opened the mail today and got something fun from another friend (thanks, Min). There are often encouraging emails from old friends, an envelope with a surprise check just when we are desperate. I am reminded of the ways He keeps us connected through distance and time. He is giving us a promise....that He will always provide those special people to enhance our lives if we give Him time...and He will keep us connected with the ones we have to leave behind.

I so fondly remember our college days and spontaneously getting together and staying up til the wee hours just talking and laughing....not wanting it to end. Classes together (Greek anyone?) The Coffee House. Jenga. Friends who went through pregnancies with me (read "put up with me hurling 24/7 for 9 months"). The friends we've bonded with over Bible studies. The friends who were there when each of our kiddos were born. Honesty (even when it sometimes hurts). The friends who have shared their homes with us with more patience than I can imagine. The "joy bus" with Claire-Squared. The millions of movies we've watched with friends. The Veggie Tale marathons. The game nights! The puzzles we've put together. Scrabble. The friends who spent Sunday afternoons (and other times as well) in our pool. The cookouts. The Holidays we've shared. Drive-In movies with lawn chairs and ice chests. Good food. Junk food. MEXICAN FOOD. Coffee. Chocolate. "42." Friends who've loved our kids. Friends whose kids we love. Friends who have brought their laundry to my house to fold on my kitchen table. The list is endless.

I don't know what God has in mind for the next step in our adventure with Him. Today I am comforted with the hope of friendships and the amazing way He weaves us all together in Him. I hope that some of our friends will recognize themselves and our love for them in this post. We can never put into words what you all mean to us. We look forward to all the fun ahead together. If not in this world...in the one to come. :)

P.S. If you don't recognize yourself in this post -- look out! -- chances are we will move to a neighborhood near you at some point! (I promise you don't have to stay up til 2 a.m. to be included in this group!:))

Blessed Despite Myself

2006-07-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

About the time of my last post things were heating up for me....and I'm not just talking about the temperatures of summer here in West Texas. I'm talking about a committment I had made a few months earlier.....

Go back a few months:
Our pastor was to be the director for a Sports & Art Camp that was coming up at the end of June. He is so enthusiastic and such a great guy. Our church is small and when it came time to volunteer to help, I knew he really needed all our support. He gave an impassioned pitch for help. I signed up to help with art. I knew my hubby wouldn't be able to take off work to be there everyday, but at least I could go help. Our small church and another small church here in town were teaming together to do this outreach camp for our community at the Boys & Girls Club here. After all, I know what it is like to try to get people to commit to help with something you believe in... And I thoroughly believe in these kinds of outreach events.

Ok, now flash forward to mid-June:
The camp is fast approaching and seeming very real now....sounds like a lot of work (EVERYDAY for 5 WHOLE DAYS with a whole bunch of hot, sweaty kids who probably haven't come from homes with too much discipline). I have a lot of stressful things already going on in my life and surely I don't have time for this! What made me sign up to help out every stinkin' day? I could have just said I would bake cookies or something. Working with kids really isn't my "gift" after all.

I see the sign up table at church on Sunday and hope springs up in me. Maybe the sign up sheets from before have somehow met a terrible fate and have been destroyed...someone is always spilling coffee, chocolate milk.....maybe even too many Krispy Kreme donut fingers did it! In a moment of foolishness I saunter over to the table to see if, per chance, there are new sign up sheets and I had missed the announcement that we were to re-sign up. I nonchalantly glance at the art sign up sheet. There, as if written in neon lights, sat my name. Still there. OK. Suck it up girl. You have signed your name and you just have to grin and bear it. My kids will enjoy it and it is a good thing after all.

The week before the camp:
There are several "events" planned this week to get together and pray, canvas the neighborhood around the boys & girls club with flyers, set up the night before, etc. I muster up my attitude and enthusiasm (put on a big smile :) and we participate in all of it. The fellowship and the feeling that we were doing something bigger than ourselves began to grow. By the Sunday night before camp started on Monday, we were having fun working hard together and even stayed up way too late watching a movie together with new dear friends after setting up.

Week of camp:
When the alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. Monday morning, I was again stricken with the grumbling thoughts. I got up and put on my new big ol' orange t-shirt (the counselor issue) and we set out for camp. The kids were able to participate in one of the following all week: soccer, volleyball, basketball (girls & boys), football, baseball, art, cheerleading, drama. Each day there was a pep rally at the end where we had great fun time, praise time, and a speaker who gave a great lesson from the Bible. The kids were having a blast and somehow I was getting blessed! There were certainly moments ...like when it was so HOT in the gym and several little girls were draped all over me as we listened to the story and some of them were "close talkers" and had breath that only a mother can appreciate (well, maybe not appreciate....maybe tolerate until the brushing of teeth is ordered) or when several Big boys showed up for art that first day and we were caught off guard and wondered what we would do with them.

I came home daily (often with my friends' kids and mine in tow....all of them starving, spunky and stinky) almost in a zombie state from sheer exhaustion.

We had a great Tailgate Party on Thursday night so the kids could bring their parents. We ate, played, & visited. There was a live band and we had a couple of "sports celebrities" from Texas Tech who spoke and gave great testimonies about their life in Christ. There was even a climbing wall. It was great to have the kids come running up to hug me and introduce their parents. Their parents were so thankful for the week their kids were getting free of charge.

When the week ended I knew I had been in the place Jesus wanted me to be in that week. It didn't take away the stresses in my life and my house was in need of my attention and my laundry baskets were full....but that's not why I'm writing. (Those things will always be and Jesus will be there in my routine things too.) Despite all my grumblings (mostly to myself) I was blessed...and so were a lot of other adults and children.

Oh, did I mention that our kids both decided to accept Jesus as their personal Lord & Savior? We had been talking about it for a while and we knew they were ready, but that week helped them make that decision public and they are ready to be baptized. This was our big bonus blessing from the week!!

If you are wondering whether to "get involved" with something that takes you out of your comfort zone in some way and makes a big difference for Jesus in lives, I would highly recommend that you "sign your name" with abandon and jump in with a smile....know you will be blessed!

Life Lessons from the Mavs

2006-06-16T13:38:00.000-07:00

Last night was just sad....and wrong....and sad.

I don't know how, but somehow, after arriving in Miami, the Dallas Mavericks were abducted by some alien mother-ship and replaced by some team that has never played professional basketball. They may not have even seen a game before! It's the only explaination I can come up with. I have been watching the Mavs all year and have not seen a game and a half that have been so dismal, so it's very suspicious. Maybe they are being drugged...or they have amnesia...

Win or lose, I am still a fan. I am not one of those fans that goes whichever way the wind is blowing. (I would have given up many years ago!) That is why I am so sad for them. I somehow relate to their plight. I know that at this point in the season, it is largely a mental game. These Mavs need some Attitude Adjustment!! I know Avery is very capable of helping them with that, but it is still up to the individual players and the team as a whole to get themselves back in the right mind-set. They need to remember who they are and how they got to this place. They have all the talent they need to get right back in this series and win it all and I believe they can.

Hmmmmm.....sounds like life, doesn't it? No wonder I relate. God has given me the talents, the gifts, the provisions I need to live a victorious life. I have it all!! He's done it all already -- it's a mental thing (heart thing!). Jesus gives me all the encouragement I need. He has the game plan. But it is still my heart that has to be changed and given over completely to Him in every situation. Sometimes (especially when I have had a few set-backs) it's a struggle to stay with the "game plan" and I become overcome with self doubts and forget that I'm completely equipped to be victorious. I forget how I "got here." God is not a "fair-weather" god....he will stick with me through all the disappointments and setbacks and will continue to cheer me on and believe that I can do it!

Just as I usually get re-focused and am reminded of all the things I know are true about the situation, I believe the Mavs will do that as well (or the mother-ship will return the "real" Mavs!!!). I just hope it isn't too late for this year : )...

My Man

2006-06-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

I'm home today teaching my kids how to spell new words, discovering common denominators in fractions, practicing handwriting, etc. We just had a lunch break and I baked some cookies for them. This afternoon we will gather up some good books and spend some time reading. It may not sound great to some of you, but to me it sounds wonderful. All our days are not perfect, but I am so priveledged to be able to be here with my kids.

My hubby is out driving an appliance parts delivery truck from Lubbock to Midland/Odessa in the 100 degree heat today. (Those of you who have ever driven that route or anywhere in this area of Texas will understand the sacrifice I am trying to convey.)

We don't own our own home. We drive an older mini-van (one vehicle working). We do without a lot of things that we want. Things have not always gone the way we thought they would in our life, but one thing is for sure: I am married to a real MAN. He works hard. (Right now he is working two jobs that are not in his field and pay little, but he never complains and always gives his best effort.) He does this because he loves us. He is a man of incredible faith and transparency. He is honest and ethical to a fault. He's a wonderful dad who will patiently listen to our son talk endlessly about a gameboy game he's in the middle of and even play with him so they can converse about it. He sits with my daughter and they have these great, deep theological discussions that amaze me. He's exactly what I wanted in a dad and didn't have. I think my kids are blessed....they do too! He's not perfect, but that wouldn't be any fun, would it? He stands his ground that we must have time together as a family without getting so caught up in the craziness of activities that keep us apart.

He helps with laundry, pitching in with other stuff around the house that I haven't gotten to yet. He puts up with me!!! He's a wonderful husband who loves me even when I'm not particularly lovable and for that I am forever grateful. He is romantic and thoughtful. He has become a sports fan because it is part of me....not because it means that much to him. (Don't get me wrong, he enjoys it, but it's not his big thing.)

He's fun-loving and likable. He's got a great sense of humor and our friends obviously enjoy him. He always gains the confidence of his fellow workers. They see him as someone they can come to with questions of magnitude and problems. They respect him, but also feel very comfortable joking around with him. His employers always think highly of him. He's kind, sensitive and very strong. He's patient. I often want to rush in and do/say things that I "feel" and his wise, quiet, peace-loving counsel saves me!! (Even though it irritates me at the time!) :)

I can't tell you the love I feel when I walk in to a room and find him sitting quietly with his Bible (and most of the time he's not studying for an upcoming test, paper, sermon, etc. ). His love for God and His Word inspires me and humbles me. He's such a thinker! I want so much for him to be in a situation where his gifts, talents and dreams can be used to inspire as many others as possible.

I love you, honey, and appreciate all that you do to take care of us! I am so blessed to be able to call you MY MAN!

Pyro-Mom & The Mountain Vacation

2006-06-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely surprise late last week. My mom and a friend were planning a weekend getaway to Ruidoso, NM but, fortunately for us, the friend had family stuff come up and had to back out....so my mom called and invited us to go with her. (I won't complain about being at the "bottom of the list" here, it's not the first time and won't be the last AND, hey, IT IS A FREE TRIP!!)

Hubby couldn't go (he had to stay here and work) but the kids and I threw stuff into a suitcase and took off. We ate lunch in Roswell, NM, which the kids got a big kick out of....alien stuff everywhere. It was really quite entertaining. We just stopped at the McDonald's that looked like a spaceship. The kids had to go check out the play area (even though they are getting a little big for that -- this one was different and so they had to at least go in once.) By the time I got our food and met them, they were coming to me with bewildered looks on their faces & both talking at once. My son had put his brand new flipflops in the shoe area and when he came out (maybe 5 min.) his shoes were gone and another pair were there....older, worn and a little smaller! GRRRR! Curses on those aliens! It's not such a big deal (they were cheap) it is just irritating. In all our years of playland experience, this was a first. Strange, strange little town.....

I have to put in a plug here for my kids getting older. As much as I wanted to keep them little forever, there are sure advantages to their aging! Traveling with them now is really a joy. We had a lot of fun. They entertain themselves well these days : ) They "get" jokes and even make them themselves, they read signs and are interested in tidbits of information! Wow, I wasn't sure this day would ever arrive when they were little and we had to change diapers often, pick up endless pacifiers & drink cups off the floorboard, listen to miles of crying, etc. Now the conversation is delightful (for the most part) and there wasn't one crying jag or dirty diaper!! (Thank goodness!)

We got to Ruidoso and the temperature was probably 30 degrees less than here and it was rainy : ) We wound our way up the mountain while searching the car frantically for gum to help our popping ears. We were staying at my aunt's second home (we'd never been there before) and it was BEAUTIFUL! We unpacked and looked around. It was then that I noticed an area out beside the house with chairs and a swing around an outdoor fireplace and I got excited. I'm picturing a nice cool evening around the fire -- you know, roasting marshmallows, maybe even singing a song, etc. I told the kids we could even make smores. They were so excited!

We made a winding trip back to town to pick up some supplies. After dinner, I got the kids to help me start gathering wood and getting ready for our campfire. At first, the fire didn't really want to catch (things were still a little wet from the shower earlier and it was still sprinkling on & off) but we finally got a good fire going. I think back now and I was practically doing a "fire dance" out there. I was so excited that I was able to get it going. I was just about to go into the house and get the stuff for smores when a lady appeared at the back door of the house that backed up to "our" house. She yelled out at me "Hey, it's illegal to have an outdoor fire!" I stopped in my tracks and I'm sure my face registered the shock I felt -- I was speechless. She continued, "It's VERY DANGEROUS!" (She just wasn't very friendly!) I finally found my voice and told her I'd put it out immediately. The kids and I ran and got water and doused it. I felt like a 5 year old who had just been scolded. I was appalled and a little scared that I had tried to burn down the mountain! We settled for microwave smores....not quite the same kind of fun!

The next day was our only full day there and we had a great time sight seeing, wading in the river, going on walks, and just being lazy. (It was much warmer that day and so a lot of hiking, etc. was out of the question.) While in town, I saw the fire ban signs and they were even fining people $500 for smoking outside! It's a wonder Smokey the Bear didn't come carry me away to the pokey!

It was a very nice vacation and lots of memories were made. Thank you, mom! We did miss hubby/daddy and were excited to get back home to him. He needed the vacation more than any of us : (

When I asked my son if he wanted to write something in the guest book at the house, he said, "Yes, Do Not Build A Fire Outside.....just a little tip!" That summed it up for him, I guess. As a homeschooling mom, I'm glad this was an educational vacation! Ha Ha! Smores anyone???

666?

2006-06-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

As a postscript to my earlier post today, I have to admit that all the bathrooms (read "blessings") did not get cleaned today.....by some mysterious coincidence our electricity was knocked out just as I got started good on the first one. Note here: none of these wonderful bathrooms have windows and so it was dark in there! Really. I didn't know what the problem was and since it was 100 plus degrees outside, I just prayed it wouldn't last long. My hubby came home from work and treated us to dinner out (at the fast food taco place down the street) since we couldn't cook and it was getting warm in here. We came home to electricity and dirty bathrooms (which I had completely forgotten about by then, the mind is really an amazing instrument, isn't it?--until I re-read my blog tonight and felt guilty!). Oh well, tomorrow is another day, right?

I heard on the news tonight that an electric line "burned down" (whatever kind of technical electrician term that may be) somewhere near our neighborhood and caused the outage. I don't know....I still suspect something having to do with the date! (ha ha) Let's see, how does that work out? The anti-christ doesn't want me to have clean bathrooms??? I might have to do a little more reading in Revelation....

The Price of Bathrooms

2006-06-06T12:17:00.000-07:00

The duplex where we now live has 3, yes 3 bathrooms!! (This is Lubbock, TX - the home of Texas Tech, so the large population of college students here dictates how housing is built.)

It is a pretty cool feature and was very appealing when we first moved in. The kids were very excited about having their own bathrooms attached to their bedrooms. Wow, at a time when we are financially struggling....God still provided for us in the form of THREE bathrooms!

OK, here's the reality: they all have to be cleaned! YUCK! I am not a bad housekeeper, but really, who enjoys cleaning the bathroom? The kids are good to help keep their bathrooms clean, but I still have to make sure they do it (do "inspection") and usually have to do some of the nitty-gritty myself (that they don't see or think about). So, there is a price to pay for the "luxury" of extra bathrooms. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying.....everything has a price.

As you can see, I'm now blogging in order to put off the inevitable....the bathrooms must get a good thorough cleaning today. Alright, already. I can't think of any more complaining to do so I'll go get those blessings scrubbed up spic -n- span.

How 'Bout Those Mavs?

2006-06-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

OK, y'all have to indulge me another blog about sports! (I really am all-girl in most things. I have never understood why females don't love watching basketball -- all those muscular men in shorts and tank tops, come on ladies!)

The Dallas Mavericks are FINALLY going to the NBA Finals!! I am still having a hard time grasping the reality of this. I was a young, single woman when the Mavs were just getting started and having some success early on. I was lucky enough to get to attend a few games in those years (I was at Reunion Arena to watch Dr. J on his 'farewell tour" when he played the Mavs). I have been a Mavs fan ever since those early years. I didn't have cable back then, so I didn't get to "watch" some of those playoff games...instead I listened on the radio. I remember listening to the Laker series in 88 on my walkman because no one else in my house wanted to hear the game -- but what they got to hear was my yelling and screaming! The names and faces of past players and coaches have been flashing through my mind this week and I know that all of them share in some small way in this exciting time. I'm happy that some of them (i.e. Brad Davis & Ro Blackman) are still with the team and will get to share this. They are two that really deserve it!

I married in 91 and moved away from the Dallas area. We lived all over the country and started our family and I didn't have access to Mavs games (and babies kept me very busy!). I didn't care much about other NBA teams so I kinda lost touch, although I knew they were really struggling. People in other parts of the country thought I was out of my mind when I mentioned being a Mavs fan. When we moved back closer to Texas a few years ago, I began to watch again and have more access to Mavs news. I was excited about this new team I saw emerging. My hubby has become a fan (he didn't have much choice!) and my kids are coming along. My husband even surprised me with Mavericks tickets for my birthday last year. It was a blast and such a sweet, thoughtful gift. It showed me how well he knows me.

I tried to get my kids to scrape together the coins in their piggy banks and buy mom a Mavericks jersey....but they didn't seem too enthused about that prospect!!! They think mom is crazy and they are right. I'm just a MFFL (Mavs Fans for Life). One of the many who have waited for over 20 years for this day to come. I love this TEAM because they are such a TEAM. Yes, Dirk is definitely the leader and the designated "SuperStar" and I love him...but everyone on this team contributes on and off the court. I think Avery Johnson is a tremendous basketball mind and motivator. And Cuban... a great fan with lots o' money who understands the FUN of this sport!

I'm ready for Thursday night -- bring on the Heat! (We know how to do air-conditioning very well in Texas!) Go Mavs!

I AM A NOWITZNESS!

2006-05-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

YES!! Great win for the Mavs tonight and Dirk Nowitzki was great. He is my MVP in this league. I know this is weird and crazy talk from a mini-van drivin' mom ...oh well, what can I say? It's me (or at least a part of me)!

Gotta get back into mom-mode and get my kids tucked in. It's late, but it's Friday night!

See ya in Phoenix! :)

HEAT

2006-05-26T14:30:00.000-07:00

The month of May has been a blur. I can't believe it is already Memorial Day weekend! How did this happen? I haven't become too regular at this blogging thing yet -- maybe I will have more time this summer -- ha!

Summer happens so suddenly in West Texas (probably why May seems to have flown by). One day it's in the 70's and I have the windows open (on the few days the wind and dirt aren't blowing so much I have to vacuum the furniture every evening) and it's delightful and then overnight it is 100 degrees day after day and the air conditioning is on full time and cooking anything in the oven is done only when it's worth heating up the kitchen. There just isn't any ramp-up time here and I miss Spring! We have lived in other parts of the country and I have enjoyed Spring. I have enjoyed the ramp-up time to heat (and it usually doesn't get AS hot or last very long). I have enjoyed trips to the park, walks, working in the yard, etc. I will admit that I am not a great outdoors-woman (probably because I grew up in this area and didn't know it could be any different), but I do enjoy getting out and doing things outside some!

The kids and I have decided to do a more year-round school schedule. We will only do 4 short days a week for 6 weeks and then take a couple of weeks off. We'll see how that works out, but since it is so hot out in the middle of the day, I think we might as well be doing something productive inside! I will try to make it more FUN for the summer (although mom, the FUN-RUINER, might have a hard time with that one!).

I kind of think life is a lot like the changing of seasons here in W. Texas. One day the sun's (or the Son's) warmth seems so pleasant and makes us all smile as we slip into our sandels and shorts - we are so content - and the next thing we know, sometimes in the span of a few minutes, we are hot, sweaty and uncomfortable and looking for relief inside a cave! God is in every season -- the ones that bring changes in the weather and the ones that bring changes in our lives. Life can heat up pretty fast - without much ramp-up time - and it is time to seek shelter in Him (and, for goodness sake, try to do something productive while you are in the shelter! -- learn more about Him, at least) until the cool winds of a new season blow over us again. We are changed, we have grown and are refreshed for the next season to come. Living life for God can get pretty HOT and uncomfortable, but He's in the heat....often trying to get our attention and calling us to spend time inside with Him!

I don't know what all Summer will bring this year. Things in our life are likely to change (and I am confident that God will be in every change or non-change that takes place, so that's ok and I can deal) and I am looking out on the hot horizon (past the mirages!) with anticipation of what God will do next in our lives. I am praying for our patience and peace and that our passion will only grow stronger for our Lord and His Kingdom.

Have a great Summer and enjoy the Son's Heat!
(& Go Mavs!)

Living with and praying through the tension

2006-05-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

I am really struggling with living within the tension between homeschooling my kids and the financial struggle that screams at me that I should/could put them in school and get a job. I worked for years before we got married (I was not a YOUNG bride). I went back to finish my college degree after we married and my son was one when I graduated. I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since. My poor hubby has worked so hard to allow me to do that and I adore him for it. I love raising my kids. I dreamed of being a mom for a long time and enjoy making a home for my hubby and kids.

My kids did attend public school for a short while and it was OK. We got "pushed into" homeschooling when the school my kids were attending became too crowded to allow my kids to continue there (it's a long story). I didn't want to do it. My hubby wasn't all that excited about it either. We never dreamed it would be such a blessing and that we would now feel so loathe to stop doing it. I wanted to stay home when they were little because I didn't want to miss those "first steps," etc. I'm so glad I got to experience those things, but they don't end when the kids hit 5 or 6! In fact, they increase. What can replace the day your child first "gets" multiplication or long division? Figures out what a square root is? Reads his/her first book? Learns how to write his/her name in cursive? I want to be there when the "lightbulbs" go on and celebrate with them. My son has some learning differences (?) and it has been such a big plus to have one on one learning for him. My kids and I both love it. Don't get me wrong, it isn't perfect. I am not perfect. I flub up a lot. There are days when we all think we want it the other way, but most days, we know this is so right for our family.

We didn't EVER foresee or plan to move so much, but, so far, it's been a part of our journey. (Hopefully that won't be our whole journey!) The flexibility and stability that homeschooling has provided for us has been perfect. When my hubby is working odd hours, it allows us to still spend time with him when he is off and work when he works.

BUT, (you knew there was a "but" coming!) we are financially strapped right now and my guilt at watching my hubby work so hard while I stay home and school our kids is overwhelming. I know I could contribute to the family income if I would put the kids in school next year and get a job. Hubby never makes me feel guilt. He LOVES me homeschooling and wants me to continue. I just feel so self-indulgent! I can't imagine not doing this with my kids. It hurts to think of that, but it also hurts to know that we need the money and I could help. Yikes!!

Ok, so that's the tension I live with and will be praying about this summer. Maybe financially things will improve (not at all unlikely) and it will all seem more sane soon. I imagine the tension will always be there (unless we win the lottery, which isn't likely since we don't play!), but maybe it doesn't have to be quite this TIGHT!! Until I get an answer from God, I will continue to live with and pray through the tension.

2006-05-06T18:22:00.000-07:00

Whatever happened to the days when Saturday was the best day of the week, our family time? It's now a day my kids and I "endure" because my hubby is having to wait tables all day and long into the night just so we can come close to paying our bills. He usually has the car too so we are grounded (that's good - can't spend too much money when you are stuck at home!) I no longer eagerly await Friday night and Saturday because the kids and I are on our own and I know he is working like a dog hoping people will remember to tip.

I now look forward to Sundays when we can worship with dear friends and have home group in our home, and Monday nights (he usually takes off) so we can have some family time and then hubby & I can curl up on the couch and watch "24" together. I love that show! He gets a little rest before his other jobs and school work kick in for the week again on Tuesday. He is so wonderful to work so hard for our family. I love him for it, and I hope he knows how much I see what he goes through for us. I don't know how he does it.

My kids told me today that I AM NOT BORING (they are being kind), it's just that without dad around, we are all boring....we just aren't complete. I actually think that's a cool thing we are all finding out about ourselves. (We do have some fun, but it is just never quite the same without him.) Maybe that is part of what this season of our life is all about....learning more about how much we connect as a family and that we can do that in non-traditional ways. Thank God for homeschooling. It has allowed our family to work things out in ways we never could if the kids were tied up in public school.

Well, I should go spend some of this time doing laundry, etc. Even though I can be thankful for the things we are learning through this time, I pray that this part of the journey won't last too long!! I am not one to want to be too traditional, but I would like to have some family time on the weekends, or have a date with my husband on Sat. night again sometime!! And please, people, remember your waitstaff are people too....(and some of them have families to feed and bills to pay!) and this surely isn't their dream job!

2006-05-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

Yikes! I woke up this beautiful Cinco de Mayo morning to find a NINE YEAR OLD girl in my daughter's bed!! How did this happen? Just last night she was eight! It seems so unbelievable that my beautiful, playful, smart girl is changing from a "little" girl to a young lady right before my eyes. I am overwhelmed by her wonderful spirit and how sweet and kind and funny she is. Oh, do we butt heads sometimes??? Just ask the male residents in our house (dad and big bro.) . We do have our moments.... but I think we are a very normal (whatever that is) mom/daughter duo. We are very alike in some ways, but in others so opposite. Her personality emerges more every day. She loves to draw, doodle, cook, learn, play, and talk, talk, talk....asking questions about absolutely everything. She loves riding her bike, skating, giggling and though she is a good reader, she hasn't yet discovered what a joy that is (it's still something she "has" to do). I love watching her relationships with God, her friends, her big brother and with her dad and myself all develop and grow.Anyway, I just had to take this day to celebrate her! I am blessed to have her in my life and she was so worth waiting for. I wanted her for so long before she was ever here and now her time in our home is flying by so quickly. I pray I will enjoy every moment and make the most of this time. Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!