Friday, May 26, 2006


YES!! Great win for the Mavs tonight and Dirk Nowitzki was great. He is my MVP in this league. I know this is weird and crazy talk from a mini-van drivin' mom ...oh well, what can I say? It's me (or at least a part of me)!

Gotta get back into mom-mode and get my kids tucked in. It's late, but it's Friday night!

See ya in Phoenix! :)


The month of May has been a blur. I can't believe it is already Memorial Day weekend! How did this happen? I haven't become too regular at this blogging thing yet -- maybe I will have more time this summer -- ha!

Summer happens so suddenly in West Texas (probably why May seems to have flown by). One day it's in the 70's and I have the windows open (on the few days the wind and dirt aren't blowing so much I have to vacuum the furniture every evening) and it's delightful and then overnight it is 100 degrees day after day and the air conditioning is on full time and cooking anything in the oven is done only when it's worth heating up the kitchen. There just isn't any ramp-up time here and I miss Spring! We have lived in other parts of the country and I have enjoyed Spring. I have enjoyed the ramp-up time to heat (and it usually doesn't get AS hot or last very long). I have enjoyed trips to the park, walks, working in the yard, etc. I will admit that I am not a great outdoors-woman (probably because I grew up in this area and didn't know it could be any different), but I do enjoy getting out and doing things outside some!

The kids and I have decided to do a more year-round school schedule. We will only do 4 short days a week for 6 weeks and then take a couple of weeks off. We'll see how that works out, but since it is so hot out in the middle of the day, I think we might as well be doing something productive inside! I will try to make it more FUN for the summer (although mom, the FUN-RUINER, might have a hard time with that one!).

I kind of think life is a lot like the changing of seasons here in W. Texas. One day the sun's (or the Son's) warmth seems so pleasant and makes us all smile as we slip into our sandels and shorts - we are so content - and the next thing we know, sometimes in the span of a few minutes, we are hot, sweaty and uncomfortable and looking for relief inside a cave! God is in every season -- the ones that bring changes in the weather and the ones that bring changes in our lives. Life can heat up pretty fast - without much ramp-up time - and it is time to seek shelter in Him (and, for goodness sake, try to do something productive while you are in the shelter! -- learn more about Him, at least) until the cool winds of a new season blow over us again. We are changed, we have grown and are refreshed for the next season to come. Living life for God can get pretty HOT and uncomfortable, but He's in the heat....often trying to get our attention and calling us to spend time inside with Him!

I don't know what all Summer will bring this year. Things in our life are likely to change (and I am confident that God will be in every change or non-change that takes place, so that's ok and I can deal) and I am looking out on the hot horizon (past the mirages!) with anticipation of what God will do next in our lives. I am praying for our patience and peace and that our passion will only grow stronger for our Lord and His Kingdom.

Have a great Summer and enjoy the Son's Heat!
(& Go Mavs!)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Living with and praying through the tension

I am really struggling with living within the tension between homeschooling my kids and the financial struggle that screams at me that I should/could put them in school and get a job. I worked for years before we got married (I was not a YOUNG bride). I went back to finish my college degree after we married and my son was one when I graduated. I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since. My poor hubby has worked so hard to allow me to do that and I adore him for it. I love raising my kids. I dreamed of being a mom for a long time and enjoy making a home for my hubby and kids.

My kids did attend public school for a short while and it was OK. We got "pushed into" homeschooling when the school my kids were attending became too crowded to allow my kids to continue there (it's a long story). I didn't want to do it. My hubby wasn't all that excited about it either. We never dreamed it would be such a blessing and that we would now feel so loathe to stop doing it. I wanted to stay home when they were little because I didn't want to miss those "first steps," etc. I'm so glad I got to experience those things, but they don't end when the kids hit 5 or 6! In fact, they increase. What can replace the day your child first "gets" multiplication or long division? Figures out what a square root is? Reads his/her first book? Learns how to write his/her name in cursive? I want to be there when the "lightbulbs" go on and celebrate with them. My son has some learning differences (?) and it has been such a big plus to have one on one learning for him. My kids and I both love it. Don't get me wrong, it isn't perfect. I am not perfect. I flub up a lot. There are days when we all think we want it the other way, but most days, we know this is so right for our family.

We didn't EVER foresee or plan to move so much, but, so far, it's been a part of our journey. (Hopefully that won't be our whole journey!) The flexibility and stability that homeschooling has provided for us has been perfect. When my hubby is working odd hours, it allows us to still spend time with him when he is off and work when he works.

BUT, (you knew there was a "but" coming!) we are financially strapped right now and my guilt at watching my hubby work so hard while I stay home and school our kids is overwhelming. I know I could contribute to the family income if I would put the kids in school next year and get a job. Hubby never makes me feel guilt. He LOVES me homeschooling and wants me to continue. I just feel so self-indulgent! I can't imagine not doing this with my kids. It hurts to think of that, but it also hurts to know that we need the money and I could help. Yikes!!

Ok, so that's the tension I live with and will be praying about this summer. Maybe financially things will improve (not at all unlikely) and it will all seem more sane soon. I imagine the tension will always be there (unless we win the lottery, which isn't likely since we don't play!), but maybe it doesn't have to be quite this TIGHT!! Until I get an answer from God, I will continue to live with and pray through the tension.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Whatever happened to the days when Saturday was the best day of the week, our family time? It's now a day my kids and I "endure" because my hubby is having to wait tables all day and long into the night just so we can come close to paying our bills. He usually has the car too so we are grounded (that's good - can't spend too much money when you are stuck at home!) I no longer eagerly await Friday night and Saturday because the kids and I are on our own and I know he is working like a dog hoping people will remember to tip.

I now look forward to Sundays when we can worship with dear friends and have home group in our home, and Monday nights (he usually takes off) so we can have some family time and then hubby & I can curl up on the couch and watch "24" together. I love that show! He gets a little rest before his other jobs and school work kick in for the week again on Tuesday. He is so wonderful to work so hard for our family. I love him for it, and I hope he knows how much I see what he goes through for us. I don't know how he does it.

My kids told me today that I AM NOT BORING (they are being kind), it's just that without dad around, we are all boring....we just aren't complete. I actually think that's a cool thing we are all finding out about ourselves. (We do have some fun, but it is just never quite the same without him.) Maybe that is part of what this season of our life is all about....learning more about how much we connect as a family and that we can do that in non-traditional ways. Thank God for homeschooling. It has allowed our family to work things out in ways we never could if the kids were tied up in public school.

Well, I should go spend some of this time doing laundry, etc. Even though I can be thankful for the things we are learning through this time, I pray that this part of the journey won't last too long!! I am not one to want to be too traditional, but I would like to have some family time on the weekends, or have a date with my husband on Sat. night again sometime!! And please, people, remember your waitstaff are people too....(and some of them have families to feed and bills to pay!) and this surely isn't their dream job!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Yikes! I woke up this beautiful Cinco de Mayo morning to find a NINE YEAR OLD girl in my daughter's bed!! How did this happen? Just last night she was eight! It seems so unbelievable that my beautiful, playful, smart girl is changing from a "little" girl to a young lady right before my eyes. I am overwhelmed by her wonderful spirit and how sweet and kind and funny she is. Oh, do we butt heads sometimes??? Just ask the male residents in our house (dad and big bro.) . We do have our moments.... but I think we are a very normal (whatever that is) mom/daughter duo. We are very alike in some ways, but in others so opposite. Her personality emerges more every day. She loves to draw, doodle, cook, learn, play, and talk, talk, talk....asking questions about absolutely everything. She loves riding her bike, skating, giggling and though she is a good reader, she hasn't yet discovered what a joy that is (it's still something she "has" to do). I love watching her relationships with God, her friends, her big brother and with her dad and myself all develop and grow.Anyway, I just had to take this day to celebrate her! I am blessed to have her in my life and she was so worth waiting for. I wanted her for so long before she was ever here and now her time in our home is flying by so quickly. I pray I will enjoy every moment and make the most of this time. Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!